I have been thinking a lot about what I could make for Valentine’s Day. And then I thought about what a good date would be for that Day. My wife loves to cook as much as I do, so I figured out something we could make together.

The nice thing about this meal is that it is very very easy to make, so regardless of your or your date’s skill, this is something you can do together. Each course is quick, too. You can take your time if your date goes really well, and even make a course after it goes down if you know what I mean.

What you need:

Small fillet of Salmon
White Wine
1 White Onion
Dill
Lemon Juice
2 Waxy Potatoes
Chives
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Carrot
Salt
Pepper
Creme Fraiche
Capers
Fresh Chives
Vegetable oil
Pommergrante juice
Mint
Sweet potatoes
Butter
Mittersweat chocolate

Poached Salmon on Crispy Potatoes

Cook the Salmon.
1. Lightly season the salmon with salt and pepper
2. Mix about 1/2 cup of wine and 1/2 cup water, dill and lemon juice in a large skillet. Julliene 1/2 the onion and simmer it all
3. Poach the salmon skin side down for about 5 minutes
4. Remove from the pan and dry
5. Flake the fish, saving the skin
6. Cool salmon in fridge

Get fancy with the skin. (optional- thanks mentos)
1. Place skin under broiler until crispy

Make the potatoes.
1. Peel 2 potatoes
2. Shred potatoes with food processor or box grater
3. Shred 1/2 onion
4. Combine and place inbetween several sheets of paper towels with a weight on it
5. Season mixtures
6. Press out into small, thin rounds
7. Fry in Vegetable oil until golden brown
8. Place on rack to cool and drain

Garnish (optional)
1.Shred carrot

Plate
1. Combine salmon and creme fraiche in a bowl
2. Add chopped chives and salt and pepper
3. Place a spoonful on your potatoes
4. Top with crispy skin
5. Add garnish
6. Fancy that shit up. (I had some truffle salt, so it went on the carrots.)

Lamb with sweet potato mash and mint-pomegranate sauce

Bake sweet potatoes.
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees
2. Put a bunch of holes in sweet potatoes
3. Bake potatoes for 45 minutes to one hour (This is the longest step in the whole meal.)
4. Cut sweet potatoes in half
5. Mash with butter (or use a ricer)

Prepare the lamb.
1. Clean the rack (if nesecary)
2. Season the lamb
3. Place lamb in fridge (Typically this is a bad idea but the rack is so small that I don’t want it to cook while it’s searing)

Sear the lamb.
1. In a hot pan add a bit of olive oil and sear the rack of lamb
2. Rest on a rack
3. Pre-heat oven to 200 degrees

Reduce the sauce.
1. Add some mint to the pommergrante juice
2. Reduce in small saucepan until desired thickness

Finish the lamb.
1. Roast lamb in oven until it hits 125 degrees internally (20-30 minutes)
2. Rest (5-10 minutes)

Plate
1. Carve lamb.
2. Put that onto something to eat it with duh what do you think plate means

Dessert poppers with Ginger Ice Cream

Clean the peppers (wear gloves! i know real men don’t use gloves, but this is supposed to be a night of romance not terrible burning).
1. Cut slits into peppers.
2. Remove seeds and membrane.

Melt chocolate.
1. Set small saucepan with a bit of water to boil
2. Turn off heat at boil.
3. Place chocolate in stainless steel bowl
4. Wait for melting

Stuff peppers.
1. Fill peppers with ice cream

Coat peppres
1. Coat in chocolate, and put in freezer to cool (not too long, or the peppers will freeze)

Plate
1. Put on plate.

It’s pretty easy. I don’t have the process pictures with me, but I can get them if anyone has any questions.

What the flying fuck happened to the holidays? It couldn’t have always been like this. I can’t say from experience because I can only really remember the last 10 and faintly remember the 10 before that, and they suck. They ALWAYS suck.

Take the mall, for instance. Have you seen the crowds? Have you had to wait in long lines? That thing you wanted to buy for that person who you don’t really know but you have to buy something because you just KNOW that they are going to buy something for you was sold out? Was the parking a nightmare? Fuck you. Guess what? You are part of the goddamn problem.

You, the people that go to the mall every year and spend spend spend spend spend, the people that look for gifts based on a minimum price point, the people that get pissed off at everyone else doing the EXACT SAME THING as you are doing (and don’t worry they fucking HATE you, too), the people that try to out-do each other every year with extravagance, the people that wait in line before a store opens, you. You raise the ante every year. You drive the fervor. You are what is wrong with the whole idea of giving because with this constant, salivating drive you make it terrible. It’s never, ever about giving. Never. No matter what you tell yourself or tell others about how ’tis better to give’ it’s a goddamn lie. If it’s really better to give, then why is there a “From:” line on those fancy handmade-look-alike labels you bought from a place that sells FANCY PAPER. If you really think it’s that much better to give, return everything you bought last July (I know, I know, you got ALL of your shopping done in July. Yes we all heard. No, really. It was important that you told me every time we saw a commercial for products or went by a place that sold anything), take that money you got back, and take a day off work and go ladle soup into a bowl for the homeless. Go man a TOYS for TOTS drop off point. Hang out in a grocery store supermarket parking lot and help old people with their stuff. -Yes, old people DO go to the supermarket. They go during the day because when you rush home and make a quick stop there to grab dinner, old people don’t have the reaction time to get the fuck out of your way- Just do something other than jerking off your ego.

Here is an idea. Go back into that fancy paper store and buy a box of holiday cards. A blank box of cards. Then go somewhere else and buy a pen. Use a bic if you want. Sit down, and write in them. Don’t type in them. Draw in them. Don’t tape print outs in them. Spend some time thinking about what you are doing. I bet you there won’t be any lines.

Change is usually something that is difficult to really see as it is happening. Change, in government, takes years and years, baby step after baby step. This time, it’s changing. The whole world can see it, we can see it, I can see it.

Change like this doesn’t happen very often, for good reason. People, especially here are too fat and too lazy to do a goddamn thing about anything, unless their cable goes out or their cellphone stops working. Then, my god, people will fucking riot if they can’t watch that rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond, or SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE AN AMERICAN IDOL’S GOT TALENT SIMPLE LIFE. Or Fox “NEWS”.

Change happens for a reason, and when dramatic change occurs, the reason must be dramatic. And it really has. In retrospect, it’s taken a lot to get someone like me to even take notice. I don’t give a fuck about anything that’s not outside my arm’s reach, and now I am squished into a packed plane on my way to the Democratic National Convention, next to my wife and a stranger. She fights off the struggle of sleep, but she will lose this battle, because she sips on her cranberry juice with a little bit of grownup in it.

The reason for all of this is dissatisfaction. I am actually upset enough to do something about it. Even me doing something is me flying out on someone’s dime to be a part of it.  And a part of it I will be.

There will be no pictures of me at the DNC. The reason? I am going to be kicking it with Secret Service Agents. I can’t really elaborate here, but it’s SICK.

I don’t really know what to expect from this, but it’s odd to actually feel motivated about something that doesn’t benefit me in any real, immediate way.

Oh, and can I talk a little bit about Hillary Clinton? I just don’t get it. The only way that the Democrats could lose this election is to have a tough party fight and split and pout and be little kids. Getting yourself on the nomination ticket after you lost is childish. Releasing your delegates during the convention? Back and under-handed. I can understand people being upset that they didn’t pick the winner at the start. Really. But is it really worth it to give it to McCain just so you can say “I WAS RIGHT”? It’s not, and you give them a chance to take it all away.

One last thing: If anyone actually reads this, and tries to figure out WHY I get to kick it with Secret Service Agents, don’t be a dick about it. People’s lives are actually at stake, and careers, too. Don’t try to guess. Just let it go.